When Her Career Is the Yardstick: Why Some Women Measure Others by Their Own Path
Somewhere along the line, a quiet message took root in many women’s minds: success means achievement, and achievement means titles, degrees, and upward momentum. For some, especially women from generations that had to fight tooth and nail to earn their place at the table, their career became more than just a job, it became proof. Proof of value. Of strength. Of survival.
But when your career becomes your entire identity, it can also become a dangerous measuring stick.
If you’ve ever been side-eyed for choosing a different path, leaving a job to care for your health, pivoting careers, or building a life outside the 9-to-5; you may have felt the sting of judgment from another woman. Sometimes, it comes in subtle digs: “Oh, that’s cute you’re doing that now.” Other times, it’s more direct: “You’re wasting your degree.”
Often, that judgment doesn’t come from malice, it comes from fear. From a belief that there is one “right” way to live. And when someone else chooses differently, it threatens that belief.
At Floriss Rx, we know that fulfillment doesn’t wear one face. Success doesn’t follow one timeline. And your worth is not determined by a resume.
So, why does this happen?
It could be:
Internalized patriarchy: Many older women had to work twice as hard to be taken seriously. That fight can make them unconsciously replicate the same pressure onto others.
Generational trauma: When women weren’t allowed choices, the only “right” path became the one that offered survival and security.
Self-worth entangled in career: When your career becomes your identity, watching someone thrive outside that system can feel like a threat—not a celebration.
What can we do about it?
If you’re on the receiving end:
Know that her judgment isn’t about you. It’s about her relationship to success.
Set boundaries around conversations that feel dismissive or competitive.
Find or build communities that affirm your version of fulfillment.
If you’ve caught yourself doing this:
Pause and reflect: Why does someone else’s path make me uncomfortable?
Practice curiosity over criticism: Ask instead of assume.
Offer support the way you wish you had received it.
The Bottom Line
There is no one way to be a powerful, successful, or fulfilled woman. Some of us climb corporate ladders. Others build businesses, raise families, explore art, rest, heal, or shift entirely. All of it is valid. All of it matters.
Our youngest generations need supportive encouragement, not shame from their elders. Let’s stop measuring each other with the same old yardstick, and start making room for all the ways women rise.
